At Last.....

...a card....

 

...yes at last ..Its been a struggle these last few weeks to get motivated about anything..as you saw I crocheted and I made some flowers just to 'do' something but I just couldn't be bothered to get colouring... even couldn't be bothered to buy any stash to see if that worked...now that was a worry...lol...

 

I don't really know why I felt so down...although I am always worried about my Mum being in the home..we have had so many issues with the home and when I come home from seeing her I always feel guilty about letting her down...before she was ill she would say..'whatever happens to me don't put me in a home'.  Oh the guilt. 

 

 I saw her last Tuesday, it was a lovely sunny day so my sister and I took her into the gardens and we sat there with her just chatting away..she doesn't always join in but we are used to that now...and then she just came out with 'you wont put me in a home will you'. Ha! my sister and I looked at each other not knowing what to say...I have always wondered where she thought she was...we have never asked her...anyway...I just said.'.no we wont do that mum..you can just stay here'...'oh yes'. she said 'I'm much better here'.  Alzheimer's is a very strange illness.

 

Also on Tuesday I had a job interview..it was the first one offered to me in nearly a year of looking for work.  I have been worried about all the changes the government has made with the Welfare benefit... they have so many 'rules' now about how you look for work..they insist now that you have to use their job website and if you don't you could have your benefit stopped...Well I did as I was told and although I know my way around a computer the website isn't that easy to use so I dread to think how other people get on who have no knowledge of one.  They also insist that you have to look for work 1.5 hr away from home so that would make a 3hr round trip everyday.  Where I live that would take me to London or down to Dover...its just impossible to look that far..well for me it is.  I have never worked in London, never wanted to... beside the cost of the fares would probably wipe out half your salary..its just insane...When I was last at the Job centre I voiced my opinion about this and I said that I couldn't be that far from Mum in case there was an emergency and I couldn't get there in time.  The advisor said that if I didn't agree I would loose my benefit and I had to see another 'higher' advisor next time I  was due to go again.  All this has been worrying me. Sleepless nights again.

 

I have applied for so many jobs and heard nothing back that when I got the call for the interview I had to ask them what company they were!!!..lol... anyway I had my interview which I thought went ok but I knew they probably had hundreds of applicants so I wasn't really that hopeful.  They said they did have others to see but would let me know this week.

 

Wednesday 4.30pm the phone rang.  I got the job!. I cried, yes I did a happy dance at the same time but I cried.  I have a proper job...proper salary... I start 7th May...and its only 1/2 hr away from home and half way to Mums home.  I feel that a great big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

 

And my mojo has come back....Phew!!!

Have a great weekend all...

Hugs

Jan...xxx

 

PS: Sweet Tilda is coloured with copics the DP is Pink Paslee - Hope Chest...Memory Box dies and the flowers are made by me.